I
did have at least one review planned for last month. Honest. It was meant to be
finished by mid December, then Christmas, then New Year, and then and then etc.
Short story made even shorter, I was trying something new – that would have begun an
article series I’d long been mulling over – and it didn’t work. I don’t want to
go into any overly specific details, but the words ‘pony’ and ‘tail’ may
give you a fair inkling of what could have been. One day, I’ll have it cracked.
Maybe.
But
until I’m hit with the necessary creative epiphany, it’s back to business
(using the term loosely there) as usual. To kick off 2013 in typically belated
fashion, I figured I’d do a quick write-up for those films released during
2012’s twilight months that, despite seeing, I never actually sat down to review.
Starting with:
Lawless
Hey,
whaddaya know?! This didn’t make me hate Shia LaBeouf! How’s that for a
recommendation? Okay, I suspect most will remember Lawless for its frequently bloody lashings of ultraviolence (only
accentuated by the grimy prohibition era backdrop) and Gary Oldman’s seven
second cameo, but the undoubted highlight IS Guy Pearce. His corrupt special
agent was easily the most grotesque and hateful villain of 2012 (and that hair, eurgh). All in all, a solid dose
of historically themed blood ‘n’ thunder.
OR
it’s just two hours of Tom Hardy grunting. I still can’t decide.
Looper
Did
anyone going into Looper really know what to expect? Actually, that’s a dumb
question. Lest we forget, the trailer did a great job of showcasing the
upcoming sci-fi awesomeness that would ensue once future Bruce Willis and past
3rd Rock teamed up to bring down a malevolent time travel
assassination agency. But then we all sat down to watch it and... Oh right, THAT’S what it’s about.
The
false advertising was understandable, however. Getting bums in seats would have
been a daunting challenge otherwise, lehmme tell you. But while its alarming
genre shifts weren’t for everyone, Rian Johnson’s dark and uncompromising
thriller proved successful, with gorgeous visuals, violent action and all the
usual timey wimey shenanigans. I’m not sure the Willis-styled makeup applied to
3rd Rock was needed, but
his performance shone through and convinced totally (right down to the patented
‘Brucey Smirk’).
And
Jeff Daniels was in it. To elaborate further would be counterintuitive.
Skyfall
I
loved the first half of Casino Royale.
When, funnily enough, it got to the actual casino part, I felt it lost momentum
and could never quite match the first hour’s exciting and grounded spy story.
Still good though! But alas, Quantum of
Solace was squeezed from the 07 - 08 Writers Strike – splatting against the
porcelain bowl, before slowly sliding into the waters of depressing mediocrity
below. As if it couldn’t get any worse, MGM then almost went bust. Yeah, things
weren’t looking too good for MI6’s finest.
But
after an agonizing four year wait... possibly the best 007 adventure since GoldenEye finally arrived. Skyfall manages the daunting task of
finding that tonal sweet spot between the gritty 2006 series reboot and the Bond of old – giving the large majority
of fans exactly what they wanted, not least of which was Javier Bardem’s
terrifying big bad (again, the hair).
Sam Mendes pushing the PG-13 / 12A rating to its limits was a nice surprise
too.
It’s
no secret that Craig would rather be doing anything else (somewhat matching
Bond’s reluctant return to duty here), but he’s yet to show any clear signs of
character fatigue (a la post-Goldfinger
Connery). Hopefully he’s up for another assignment or two.
Sightseers
Did
you catch Ben Wheatley’s Kill List?
Its tale of two hitmen whose initially routine contract assignment takes a
harrowing turn for the worse was one of the most chilling horrors in recent
years. I bring it up because Wheatley’s latest film, Sightseers, showcases another descent into madness... only one that’s
handled completely differently.
Nobody
likes caravanning. And if they do, they’re lying. For that reason alone, the
killing spree Sightseers’ everyday
British couple embark on to liven up their cross-country holiday is perfectly
understandable. Wheatley’s script ensures it’s nothing less than the blackest
of black comedy, while Alice Lowe and Steve Oram make for two disturbingly
relatable anti-protagonists.
Meanwhile,
the English countryside acts as a gorgeous distraction from your rapidly
deteriorating moral compass. Shot with the grace of a Sergio Leone western,
Wheatley takes full advantage of the widescreen aspect ratio and captures every
aesthetically pleasant detail (alongside all the stomach churning stuff).
Between picturesque views of rolling hills and the sight of a man’s face
smashed open against a boulder, Sightseers
should work quite well overseas as a blood-soaked tourism advert.
The Hobbit: An
Unexpected Journey
Spoiler
Alert: IT’S TOO LONG.
I
mean... c’mon. Nice as returning to Middle Earth with all its familiar faces is,
this was overkill. I admit, attending a stupidly late showing of the HFR 3D
version (which looked beyond awful, by the way) may have been a mistake in
hindsight, but this bastard felt every single minute of its ungodly runtime. It
was almost 1am by the time Bilbo finally left the Shire! I like to think the
two guys a row ahead, who walked out after thirty minutes, went home to watch Willow instead. Not a terrible idea!
But
aside from a high risk of contracting
deep vein thrombosis, The Hobbit did more
right than wrong. Martin Freeman was fantastic as Bilbo, it’s like Ian McKellen
never took off the pointy hat, and Richard Armitage must have received
extensive training in the art of brooding. The remaining dwarven company
generally blends into one indistinguishable beardy mass, but Ken Stott, James
Nesbitt and Graham McTavish have some particularly great moments.
And
when it eventually did get going, the lighter tone of The Hobbit’s children’s book origins allowed for a number of highly imaginative set-pieces (such as the carnage that ensues in Goblin
Town). It’s just a shame the long wait for this entertaining
payoff will no doubt test the patience of many.
Argo
Ben
Affleck is roughly two thirds jaw. That much is obvious. But despite what must
be a distressing physical handicap, the man just knows how to direct moving pictures, as evidenced by Gone Baby Gone and The Town.
With
Argo, he’s put together something
special. A gripping story, memorable characters, perfectly judged pacing and
just the right dose of injected humour comprise a triumph of good, old
fashioned filmmaking that stylistically harks back to the very same decade of
movies it’s set in. The cast is superb, featuring two particularly stellar
turns from Alan Arkin and John Goodman, while Affleck himself continues to
purge those haunting Daredevil memories.
It’s hard to believe the featured assignment really happened, but it sure makes
for great cinema (inevitable creative licence notwithstanding).
For
me, it rivals The Grey and Dredd as last year’s overall best film.
Do see.
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